Self-Proclaimed Worst Blogger

It has been almost a month since my last blog post and I am coming to the realization that I am horrible at blogging, so maybe this will redeem my reputation? That might be too high of hopes.

I went to a Blazer game with my friend Marie a few months back and she told me about this so-called self-proclaimed "Free Throw Guy". Really? There are so many things about that sentence that bother me.

First off, if you have to be self-proclaimed there is something wrong initially. If people don't recognize you for whatever talent or should I say "talent" you possess than maybe you don't deserve any recognition! Secondly, if you are going to be self-proclaimed you should recognize the opportunity you have at your hands. You get to make up whatever name you want! So "Free Throw Guy" is all this dude could come up with? I feel that I can call him a dude by the fact that he #1 is a self-proclaimed fan and #2 is extremely un-creative. Anyway, that just opened a whole can of worms and made me curious to see what other self-proclaimed individuals there are out there...

There are some innocent people like the self-proclaimed "New York Giants Girl"

who appeared on True Life (yes, this is how I waste my Saturdays, but more importantly notice her outfit) and the self-proclaimed "Foodaholic" who uses her obsession as a blogging tool. Then there are the more sinister and psychotic, such as the self-proclaimed "vampire" who apparently went in to a homeless shelter in Seattle with a pipe bomb demanding access to their day room so he could feed. Creeeeepy (that's him below).

Anyway, the point is that we will never cease to have a supply of self-proclaimed this or thats and I think that is something that deep down, we can all be thankful for. Because whether or not we choose to admit it, we can all get a laugh out of them.

Iguana love you

So, I realized the other day one thing that constantly amuses me as well as anyone else I know: animals. I was in line at the OSU bookstore getting ready to buy another $100 dollar book I will no doubt get $15 for when I try to sell it back, when I glanced over and saw something that brightened my day substantially. This:

I immediately had to tell someone so I texted my sister ASAP who agreed that this was AWESOME. But, that wasn't enough for me. I had to know more about this calendar and the curious self-proclaimed Henry "Lizardlover" aka the Lizard Director (weird, I know, and it gets weirder). This man has created a calendar of lizards posing in human-like stances in order to create awareness of the potential calm and loving nature iguanas can have. I say potential because he also substantially warns against them because male iguanas can go through agressive stages that last from a few hours to a few years and they can come on at any time. He posted some graphic photos of iguana wounds inflicted by a 10-20 pound iguana leaping onto its owner and clawing and biting her (I decided to leave those photos out). Yeah, this really promotes my "lizard love". I figured, why not just get a female iguana and avoid this mess? Apparently even veterinarians can't tell the difference between male and female iguanas - great. So you get an iguana as a pet, live in fear that one day it will attack you, and eventually go to the hospital to get stiches after your lizard dive-bombs you from your kitchen cabinet. Well, anyway, I thought I would give this guy a shout-out because honestly this calendar is hilarious and this needs to be shared with the world! Here it goes...

Loving the "Lizwood" sign in the background. Henry would like to make it clear that no lizards were harmed in the making of this and that photoshop was not used. He just has the magic to make this work.

Pretty sure I've seen an identical picture to this at awkward family photos.

"Iggy" Marley - yeah, that was a bad joke....

The man behind the magic, Mr. Lizardlove himself. Check out his webpage at http://www.todaysplanet.com/pg/beta/lizardlover/page21.htm if you want to know more. And remember, "lizard love is the fulfilling of the law".

Yeah, I don't know what that means either, but he has it all over his webpage like it is a fact so I'll just go with it.